Very concerned

**Tracy** · November 13th, 2006, 11:50 AM

Lately when Joey gets mad (usually when we tell him "no" ), he will throw himself on the floor and smash his head into the floor. He will do it on our floors, tile floors, carpet or whatever. Then he starts crying because he has hurt himself. I'm very concerned because it doesn't seem normal that a child would do this and i'm afraid he is going to really hurt himself. Any suggestions? Do I ignore this, punish him when he does it, give him attention?

TIA

Jamie826 · November 13th, 2006, 12:37 PM

Hey Tracy. .. . Its COMPLETELY NORMAL! Kalebs FAVORITE Thing to do is to head butt off of things. Like the windows at my mother in laws house. He stands there and bounces his head off of things. He will head butt the dog, he will head but the boys, etc. And when BOTH of the kids are mad, the thrown themselved down to the floor, planting their face in the floor. Sometimes it involves a head bang, just depends on how hard they throw themselves down!!

I've noticed it alot with the twins as being a temper thing. And its something I"m really getting a head start on. If they throw themselves down, and throw a fit I pick them up, and put them in their crib, where I know they are safe, and I tell them they need to calm down, and mommy will be right outside the door, and I'm listening for them to stop crying. I know they're too little to be in there for very long at all, so its usually about 30 seconds, and they've calmed down somewhere safe, and I go back in, and get them out. THe other day, Kendyl started throwing a fit IMMEDIATLY, so I put her back in, and went through the whole thing again. . . .it took FIVE times, before she was finally calmed down. And again, not more than like 30 seconds at a time, and I was RIGHT outside the door. . ..

Sounds like Joey and the twins would be a real riot together right now, with tempers flairing!!!

Doesn't mean its any easier for mom to deal with though!!!!

Star · November 13th, 2006, 01:12 PM

Yup! Normal temper tantrum behavior. No need to worry, he won't permanently damage himself. It may sound horrible, and look even worse, but kids do have a natural survival instinct. I think Matt had a callus on his forehead from age 2-3...

Kem · November 13th, 2006, 01:20 PM

Awww, poor mommy! I agree that it's totally normal. I don't think you could punish for the behavior. Maybe sit with him and talk to him and see if he could tell you what is making him so mad (even if you know). Let him explain and try to put a reason to his emotions. This is the most difficult thing to do though. I have to do this with Connor and had to as a toddler. He wouldn't throw temper tantrums, but he would get so ticked at the smallest things.

I think boys are mature slower when it comes to emotions and knowing how to deal with their anger.

Good luck

ILuvLogan&Cole · November 13th, 2006, 01:28 PM

Tracy,
Believe it or not, it is actually very normal. I wish I had some advice, but I just wanted to say you are not alone!

Jamie826 · November 13th, 2006, 01:53 PM

Oh yeah. I wanted to add at this age it ALL about learning reactions. If you notice him, he'll watch you to see what you do when he laughs, when he cries, or when he does something he knows hes not supposed to. It might help if you are extra happy, or praising with the good behaviors, and try not to react much to the bad ones. .. .it might pursuade him towards the good behaviors vs. the bad, knowing that THAT is what will make mom react.

Does that make sense? I know its helped with all four of my kiddos!!!

Jurgita · November 13th, 2006, 02:24 PM

First

hun! Ethan went through this. I remember so well! I was so scared everytime he did it! He would do it on the wall, bang his head every time he is mad! It just passed and he is not doing this anymore, so I hope it won't last too long for you!

Amanda · November 13th, 2006, 02:37 PM

Both my kids didn't do this too much, but I know it's normal. I would not punish him or stop the act for now. He needs to learn he'll hurt when he does it and you won't have a change of heart or start loving him to stop it. He's doing it cause you said no and he wants you to change your judgement. If he doesn't grow out of it in time I would find ways for him to redirect his anger.

**Tracy** · November 13th, 2006, 04:29 PM

Thank you all sooo much!! I have literally been losing sleep over this. I was thinking maybe he had an anger problem or something of that sort. This kid is just soo rough and my mother and MIL had me a nervous wreck over it. Thanks again

Jennee · November 14th, 2006, 06:02 AM

i had a kid at the daycare do that to me one day.
we were outside playing in the courtspace with bikes, he did something to another child, i went to get him to say sorry and he just droped to the ground, i wasnt expecting it, wasnt able to catch him, and he ended up with a big red spot on the back of his head. i felt so awful, but i guess that was normal for him and does seem to be a normal part of tantrums.
tash never did that, but she once slid off a bus seat onto the floor cause she didnt want to be on the bus, a guy accross the isle went to catch her, i told him not to worry, she was fine (the bus was sitting there for a few mins).
i just left her for a couple mins, picked her up and put her back on the seat beside me and she was fine.
she never got my attention durring a tantrum and they never became a big problem.
just watch him with out letting him know you are, just to make sure hes safe