HELP! WHATS WRONG WITH MY SON!!

[~*Julie*~]

My son is 10 and is driving me nuts! I don't know what to do or where to start looking for help! Hes a very sweet boy and very kind to others. But ever since he started school, all his teachers told me to have him tested for ADD or ADHD. In pre-school I asked his dr. about it and he said that even if he had it, he wouldn't treat him with any meds at such a young age. Well, after hearing the same thing from his first and second grade teachers, I took him back. The dr. said hes a boy and deal with it basically. So now hes getting older and although things are changing, hes also getting worse in some areas. So last year, when he was 9 I take him back again and tell the dr. I'm sure he has ADD. The dr. then tells me that he doesn't treat ADD because he doesn't believe its a real condition. Again, hes a boy. I was so angry with his answer! So till this day, we're just doing our "normal" thing.

But what bothers me is is that he has no sense of reality. It goes far beyond the typical "That won;t happen to me" thing. When we try and warn him of the dangers of strangers and child predators, he has no fear casue he HONESTLY thinks he can beat them up or over power them some how. We were just talking last night about the school shooting in Co. and I said "See what can happen." And he says "I would've just stabbed him with a pencil." I said "Honey, don;t you think if it were that easy, the girl who died would have done that and not been shot?" he says "No. Cause not everyones as smart as me." I was just in shock! I tried telling him again of how adults are stronger than children and its like he thinks hes Hulk Hogan or something!

Also he puts himself in danger! Like he was climbing tress with his friends, which is fine, but then he tells me that he was touching the power lines that ran past the tree! Than another time I caught him playing in a burn barrel. Hes getting very smart mouthed and has always taken FOREVER to do his school work, unless I'm right there watching him. It took him 6 hrs. to do 4 pages of math the other day. And hes good at math! HEs always been that way.

AND he does things without thinking of the consiquences. I have a timer I use (sometimes) for his schoolwork. Well, 2 days ago, he hides my timer in the oven. I go to cook dinner and pre-heat the oven and leave the room. He comes inb and says "Mom, the house smells like buring plastic and metal." Not knowing that my timer was in the oven, I told him it must be something from outside and not to worry. Tehn I find a puddle in the oven where my timer used to be!! I asked him why he put it in the oven and he gave me some goofy excuse that he didn't want the bell waking up the grils from their nap. Then last night, UUGGGHHHHHHH, my husband and I tore this house apart looking for my laptop. Finally at 10 PM my son finally tells us that he was playing with it and it fell. He thought it was broken, so he threw it away!!!! And trash day already passed! I was so angry/upset, I just kept stairing straight ahead and couldn't speak.

I need some advice! Tell me, is this "normal" 10 yr. old boy behavior? Or is there something going on? I"ve dealt with it for 10 yrs. so although its frusterating, its "normal" to me. I need some advice!

[Cori]

Hugest of Julie!

Well I am not doctor so I can't even begin to say what is normal and what's not. I know each of my boys are completely different with each other. Jake, my 8 year old, I thought he had ADHD, ADD, or ODD because of his behavior, so my pediatrician suggested a psychologist and let me tell you, just after about 3 visits, the DR. said it was just a behavior issue and not any of those things, so I asked what to do because he was literally tearing my family apart and the doc said come back for more visits and we will retrain the both of you..ok whatever right? Well so we went and after 4 more visits Jake was a completely different kid!! He is respectful, kind, loving. It was my old Jake again. Jake just had a lot of anger and frustration about things that were happening in our life and didn't know how to verbally get it out so he was acting up.

Do you think this has anything to do with the baby? Has it gotten worse since the baby was born? I would definitely suggest taking him to a psychologist to help figure things out and if that doesn't work, get him into a psychiatrist.

Good Luck to you!

[Amanda]

I would have to agree with Cori. It started off sounding like ADD but I am simply stunned about the laptop thing. I think there are more behavior displays. Something that he needs to talk to someone about or help him modify his actions.

[Erin]

Julie,


I don't know what's normal and what's not..but I know when Hannah who is 8 broke our laptop, she didn't throw it away! I think at 10 he should have known better than that.

Same with the timer in the oven. It does seem like he isn't really thinking of the consequences of his actions.


I don't know if it is ADD or something else..but I would definately get a second opinion. I think it is wrong of your doctor to pooh-pooh it as normal boy stuff.

Hugs to you and I hope you figure out what the problem is and straighten it out.

[Henrietta]

I have 2 boys with 2 totaly different ways about them. My 12 year old sounds alot like yours, He has broken things and hid them, gotten mad and done things that he knew he shouldnt have done. Just to say that he does many things without thinking of the consiquences. And like yours he has unrealistic views of how some things may realy happen.
My soon to be 14 year old isn't the same way at all. So to say one way is normal and one is not I wouldn't do that. I just think it is the child . I have to work extra hard with Kenneth when trying to explain things and be very paitent , and I pray a lot for them also.
To say the least he is down right onrey sometimes, some might even say that he's mean sometimes to.
We just have to hang in there with them . Good luck.